July 22, 2014

the boobs and the babe

say you have a second baby and you think that since you just stopped nursing your first babe 4 months ago, that your boobies will be ready and happy to take on a new client. but then, instead of a celebratory receiving, your boobs are sad and angry and screaming and cracking and bleeding and crying. 

then, you'll be sad. 

maybe it's because your boobs quickly forgot how to do the dew. perhaps it's because new baby is a super large and strong lad who drinks with a fury that your boobies had not known before. even still, maybe it's just a part of the process that you completely forgot about, that you knew would be difficult but not ever this difficult. 

what do you do? 

you probably ask your husband at 3am to go make a bottle of formula because you. just. can't. you probably cry a lot and curl your toes and tap your feet and tighten all the muscles in your body. you hold your breath. you squeeze the shit out of your boobs to try and distract yourself from the piercing pain of the milk monster baby. you try your best to stuff the entire breast in his mouth because that's what you should do but somehow, it's never enough. 

you will pump more. you will embrace the pump more than you ever did the first time. 


you will also hope that this is just one stop on the nursing train because things will get better as they almost always do. you imagine that soon enough, your little lady lumps will toughen up and show that baby they're up for the job. 

because you are one strong mama. you've done this before and you'll do it again. 

that's what you'll do.

July 14, 2014

DIY - Maternity Photos at 38 Weeks


being a champion procrastinator, less than mediocre planner and inexplicably reluctant photo shoot purchaser, i decided to take my own maternity photos on saturday. after digging around for my camera battery and tripod - items i haven't used in months, sadly - i set it up and just went for it. i didn't think about my wardrobe or river's. you'll notice he's wearing his weekend shorts and nothing else. i'm wearing a tank i slept in the night before. i did, however, throw on a long, semi-sheer skirt, hoping to catch some of the light and to create some semblance of motherly femininity.

i think in the end, i was able to capture a few special moments. though i hope you can appreciate that even when i look serene, i just ran over from the tripod, trying not to get my skirt caught on odds and ends, trying not to trip, and getting into just the right spot before all of 10 seconds is up and the camera goes off. and at 38 weeks, i'm not graceful.

so, put that in your pocket and enjoy!

that last family shot is a bit of a miracle. we're all looking and mostly smiling and centered and not falling off the hammock. which is what i said to hank as i sat down and just before the camera went off, "hurry, quick, put him on your lap, i'm sliding off this fucking thing!" 

i'm the sweetest. 

so there you have it. you too, can take your own maternity photos at home, in an hour or so. with a tripod and photoshop, you're fully equipped! ya know, if you have really low standards for this kind of silly stuff, like i do.