October 11, 2012

peace out newborn diapers

im sitting here pumping as i anxiously watch my child writhe and squirm in his sleeper. he's got gas. he's got it bad. it's only been 45 minutes since i last fed him and i can tell i only have a short amount of time to finish this up because he's going to be hungry again.

we always stand in a buffalo stance.

it's during these times that i miss the first few weeks of newborndom. the days when he literally ate and then slept for hours on end. i believe it happens like that to ease you into parenthood. to trick you into thinking it will always be that simple and systematic.

as the days go on, i can see that no days will be predictable. when yesterday, rocking worked, today, he hates the rocking chair. when last night he slept for 7 hours, tonight, he woke up every two just to make sure you were listening. it's a crazy baby world for this crazy baby momma who loves rules and order and predictable things.

...i'm done pumping - only 2 ounces yielded.


eff is a common feeling for me these days.

reminds of yesterday when we were happily, peacefully in nursing land. baby eating like a fiend, mommy watching another boring television show when there was a crash. it was a crash from down below, a thunderous boom from diaperville. at first, i thought, great job buddy! but then, then i noticed my hand and thigh felt warm. too warm.

i look down.

the biggest glob you've ever seen...or smelled...of yellow baby poo all OVER his clothes, his blanket, my pants, my hand. we walk slowly to the changing table to clean up the scene. well, once baby is laying down, his sock gets in the poo. so i take that off. well then his foot in the poo. and when it's time to remove the onesie, the poo transfers to his back and his hair.

bath time was early yesterday.

from his first bath - which he hated.
note: submerge baby in the warm water at all times. turns out, they don't like being cold either.
oh and did i mention i'm wearing make-up today?! eff yeah! 

see, sometimes eff is a good thing. 

hey riv, remember when you grew out of newborn diapers at 4 weeks? wah.


  1. I'm not exactly sure how I came across your blog - but I absolutely LOVE it. I have looked through ALL of your posts (well, almost all). I am expecting a girl in January of this upcoming year - and i LOVELOVELOVE how honest all your posts have been. I feel like I have gotten more information from your blog about being pregant/and a new mother - that I've found anywhere else. THANK YOU!

    1. hello tausha! and welcome. and my, what a rad name you have, my dear. can i just say that that is the best compliment i've ever received!?! congrats on the baby girl situation! all my friends are having girls - river will have his choice come prom night. woot! xoxoxo

  2. Hang in there! Though the predictability of a not as newborn is out the window, one day the poo will get better or at least more tolerable... and you'll have the random glorious day where you get 7 oz out of one boob at ONE pumping session! And those are the days you hold onto to make those "today, he hates the rocking chair" days a little easier! PLEASE keep blogging and keeping it real! It is refreshing to hear your perspective and honesty!

  3. Ahhh yes, the only time I don't really mind hearing about poop...when it's about babies. They really can do anything and still be cute!

  4. hahahahaa I can't stop laughing.

  5. I came across your blog the other day, and I spent over an hour reading every blog post for the last year! Your writing is hilarious, and really captured me as a reader. My husband and I aren't expecting a baby anytime soon (fingers crossed it stays that way!), but you're slowing giving me baby fever so please stop being an adorable mommy with a handsome baby boy! :) Wishing you the best! I can't wait to read more about your adventures as a new mom.

  6. I love the top photo. He looks so intense.

  7. Oh my I remember those days with our first born it was a very tough experience no sleep lots of crying lots of gas oh boy I don't miss those days but hang in there. You have a great blog I love your writing style!

  8. 2 oz is great lady![and this is coming from someone who exclusively pumps]

    also, beware- these little creatures change it up on the weekly[sometimes daily]. pretty sure they're mocking us creatures of habit;)


  9. Holy moley that sounds like so much poo. That happened to me one time - I shat myself whilst someone was holding me. They weren't so cool about it being in my hair and on their hands though.. Riv's got a good friend in you.

    You're such a hot mumma, I hope I look like you when one day my uterus gets used. I'm worried I won't though ha. What a ridiculous thing to be concerned about.

    Point of this comment really is - I like River's little old man expression. He so grumpy with the world right now and he's only been here for a month! X

  10. My son was a fan of bouncing. I would sit on the giant exercise ball and bounce. i could bounce him for hours. It would calm him and then *POOF* he would fall asleep. He is 9 months now and still loves to bounce but these days he bounces on his own. Every now and then I bounce him myself for old time sake, my thighs and butt miss it :)

    I feel you on the pumping! I did not produce lots of milk and it became very frustrating after a while. Especially when I had THAT friend who got 5oz out of one boob. I pumped for 12weeks, I saved a bunch in the freezer and I happily went back to work without my pump.

    Good Luck. You look fantabulous!
    River is gorgeous too ;)

  11. YES, YES AND YES. To this entire post.

    They do trick you those first couple of weeks, then all of a sudden they wake up and leave you thinking... who took my baby?? But it's so worth it. But yes, I curse like a mother effing sailor these days. I've never cursed this much in my entire life.

    So glad to read something that sums up exactly how I feel. :)

  12. this made me laugh so much.

    oh i can't wait for the poo blowouts...not! :)

  13. Oh my gaaaahd what a cute kid! I have the same feelings about newborns.. they ease you into it, trick into falling madly in love with them, and then BAM! It's on! My baby just turned two and it just gets better and better and better. Promise. :)

  14. Oh my. I can't even... I don't know how you mothers do it. I turn my nose up at cleaning Molly's cage sometimes! I got nothing but mad respect for you.

  15. The idea of chemical free diapers was awesome. The diapers are really soft and cute as my daughter has allergies to most brands but I found these honest diaper best in use for my little baby.