September 28, 2012

some firsts from mommyland


i peed yesterday while holding my baby. 

it was a first for me. though i'm sure it won't be the last. i'm actually considering waking him up right this second to practice this new bathroom behavior. HA! no, i'm not considering that at all. sleeping baby means time to blog, read, sleep, poop, do dishes and/or laundry, etc., etc. and there is no way i'm messing with that gloriousness. 

another first, i showered today while the babe was in the bathroom with me and he didn't wake up! i didn't have to skip shaving or conditioner to rescue him from his crying. it was a beautiful thing. and the best news, i'm clean! hank, ya hear that!? i'm clean! you're welcome. 

and my last first for this post, i used a breast pump. and as i did, hank and i just laughed because i am officially a cow. it's udderly insane. but i got 2 oz. and today i'm going to try and get more because thinkin' that said pumped milk will buy me a ticket to get a pedicure, ALL by myself. holler. 

these firsts are triumphant but more than that, they are evidence of just how much life has changed for me. i'm really trying to embrace the change and flourish. but i'm not going to lie, it's hard. it's mother-effing hard y'all. after 31 years of being able to do whatever i want, whenever i want, it's quite the task to not be able to do anything you want, ever. ha! and how to make this a-ok? well, number one, just look at that adorable baby you get to hold and soothe and snuggle. two - change the things you want...for now. and three, know that everyday is a new day and things will evolve and will probably improve. as life does. 

i cry a lot. and at first i thought i was crying because i was sad and overwhelmed - and sometimes i am - but last night, while i was singing a song to river, i realized i'm crying a lot because i'm so in love. so much so that i can't contain it half the time. even now, i'm crying as i type this. i couldn't even finish the song because my voice cracked and the only thing i could do was hold his tiny hand and watch as he fell asleep right next to me. 

xo

19 comments:

  1. this is a beautiful post. tears began to form as i read the last paragraph! i can't even imagine the love you have because i don't have a baby myself. but i know the love i have for children in general, especially little ones. (i mean no one chooses to work full time with infants unless they do) love is a great thing and it's overwhelming. you're an amazing mother, and i know this just because of the words i've read!

    xoxo, Kristen

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  2. I love getting your updates any time you're free. I can't imagine the love you're feeling, but just hearing this update makes me wanna cry too! So beautiful.

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  3. aww!! Sounds like you are adjusting to mommyhood perfectly. There are definitely a lot of tears in these first few months. Stick that little peanut in the bouncer while you shower. He will nap and enjoy the cozy vibration of the chair.

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  4. ah Vic, that is so beautiful and you made me cry. It is all so true!
    Also, love your udderly insane comment. haha.

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  5. Oh, that baby. I want to eat him up! Also, your house is freaking cute.

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  6. Yes, to all of this.
    To the peeing and pooping and showering and sobbing and escaping and loving and being amazed.

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  7. This post is too lovely! This age is actually easier compared to when they start getting about! xx

    myprettymummy.com

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  8. He is just so so so adorable. I'm so happy for you and all the ways your heart has grown and expanded and filled.

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  9. whatever works woman!!! Love, love, love your honestly, bluntness and overall awesomeness.

    as for that little bebe pictured above.... OMG he is soooo stinkin' cute! Its awesome hearing your take on motherhood and how you still have all your flair, just with an added bundle! Savor every minute, it will fly by!

    -Erin

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  10. This is so sweet! You've got a great attitude, girl. And the cutest baby boy I ever did see.

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  11. such a sweet post...that river is such a cutie. it sounds like you adjusting to motherhood really well, and quite the multi tasker! i hope you get your pedi soon! :)

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  12. Wow I must say that your cute momyland has a very very cute little prince baby....he is simply adorable...looking very sweet in the pics...so many hugs for our little prince.. :)

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  13. sounds like you have learnt the tricks of the trade--i am sure peeing while holding my baby will be in my not too distant future :)

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  14. You know, Ive been crying a lot this week too. Its hard work. VERY hard work. Each day had gotten better and better, but I feel ya mama. Its all out of love.

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  15. This is sooo beautiful!! Got me teary!! I can't even begin to imagine the changes.. But I'm sure that beautiful boy makes it all worth it

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  16. 15 months later I still cry looking at my daughter. It never fails.

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