August 9, 2012

in which i talk to myself about swollen members and fancy solutions

hey vicki, remember yesterday when your feet swelled up. 
and you kept thinking that maybe there was a stray hair between your toes, or maybe a piece of trash had fallen from your desk. 
but then you'd reach down (awkwardly because your stomach is huge) to grab that piece of hair or trash and realize it was just the new folds of foot swell touching your toes. and then you almost threw up. 

yeah, i remember. i didn't like that. 
but here's a visual for all your sickos. 

i wonder if there's anything that could make you feel better about that experience...

wait, i know! 


i could enter for the giveaway for a FREE freaking necklace. 
and then people would stare at my gorgeous baby cleavage necklace instead of my fat feet. 

what's that you say? 

you don't know about this giveaway i speak of??
so you haven't entered?! 

well, well, well. 
you listen here. 

you click right here my friend and enter! 
go on, now. 

you don't want my feet to attack you, now do ya?
or maybe you do, in which case, we are no longer friends. unless, of course, i can make funny monster noises and grab your cheeks with my toes...then, maybe we can talk. 

last day for the giveaway
i'm choosing the big winner randomly tonight and ooo, can't you just feel it?? it's gonna be you! 



  1. lol! You are such a goof and I love it!

  2. Why are you so pretty?!? But seriously, the idea of you grabbing me with your feet sounds like a nightmare. lol

  3. Hahaha! Sorry about the swollen feet :( You're almost there though!!

  4. Haha Vic, you are so funny! But those feet! They bring back memories of MY feet being pregnant with YOU! Scary!!!!! But they do go back to normal! and it won't be too much longer !!! :)

    I was going to be like, "TELL ME YOUR SECRET." (But, as you read today, for me it's swollen eyes. So.)
    Hope your poor baby feet feel better!

  6. Lol you're so funny! I'm glad I found your blog today. Sorry about your feet but look at it as one of the joys of motherhood.