A few things to address immediately:
1. I had Hank take this week's pictures in the backyard to show everyone how it's been for WEEKS, with his surfboard resting on that chair. If you were to see what's behind the photographer, you'd also notice the towel and wetsuit that has been crumpled in a ball on the patio for weeks. This is life with the male species. And this is me, trying to remember everything about our time in this house again. Messy backyard? Check!
2. Where did my ass go? No, seriously, I'm taking an ad out in the paper. Cash reward. Find it, someone, please. I'm going to start writing letters to it, pen pal steeze, in hopes that it will return to its proper home.
Dear Ass, I didn't appreciate you enough when you were around but I promise to love and squeeze you like you deserve to be loved and squeezed. Please come home in time to meet River. Thanks in advance. Love, Me.
Alright. Now that that's out of the way, let's talk pregnancy shit! Yeeah!
- Is it hot in here? Don't answer that because it is. It always is. Having to get dressed somewhat appropriately for work is a joke. Can't I just wear my underwear and tank top? I'll close my office door, promise.
- I read that bunny is possibly 5 lbs and 19 inches long by now. Does that sound enormous to anyone else?! And with 6 more weeks to go still? The only positive about this news is that I'm still 24 lbs up. In my professional opinion, this is because he's growing by eating up all my excess fat! Good news, people, good news. edit: excess fat = ass. bunny ate my ass.
- Movement, as always, is constant, though there has been a new development in the past few days. It's sort of a vibrating movement...I'm calling it the "real person stretch" - ya know, the one where you stretch so hard that you kinda shake. Yep. Also new, rubbing up against my hip bones and large movements that actually take my breath away. Yep again.
- I exercised a little this weekend...danced in the shower, did 5 squats, walked to our neighborhood eatery...and I gotta say, it kinda felt great AND made a huge improvement on the pelvic pain that had come back with a vengeance. And to this I say: exercise, people may be right about you, you sly dog.
- Potty Talk. Peeing a lot these days. A LOT. It's slightly ridiculous and entirely inconvenient. It's like having a UTI without the burning which I guess is better than a UTI but still, rather annoying, yes? As far as pooping goes, I've been pretty damn lucky. Regular as a regular. Though this little guy is moving so much that um, sometimes he's moving during an extended
pooloo session and it's freaking me out. It's like having an audience, in the front row, heckling you during the performance. Get out of the theater, clown! ...i might have laughed out loud the first time this happened.
And maybe that's enough for this week, eh?
p.s. can i be done now?