May 31, 2012

the people want boobs and toys from the 80's

i know this to be true because here are my most popular search keywords from yesterday and i'm telling you, they rarely ever change.

people also like to see pregnant bellies which is great news for me because i've got one. and i've got a camera. like you didn't already know this.

ok, so boobs. let's discuss for a minute.

what's the deal with berlin and boobs? is germany known for large breasted females? am i totally out of the loop on this one? i like how berlin boobs come in two sizes: big and huge. i've never even been to berlin and am fairly certain i haven't mentioned it ever so how i come up on this search is beyond me. i'd also like to point out that there were 2 separate people who searched for my big boobs in quotations yesterday. that is serious. when you are putting shit in quotations, you want very specific results. i'm glad 2 of you found your way here to see my big boobs. you're welcome. sorry they weren't naked.

so toys from the 80's are still interesting. duh.

the 80's were a good time and it is most definitely due in part to having brought us the magic of popples  (they carry their house around on their ass!! effing genius.) and big wheels. and if you were a little girl and your big wheel had cabbages for tires and a cabbage patch doll sticker for a license plate, you were basically the happiest kid on the block. i know because i was that girl. my sister can vouch for this too. we shared the big wheel because we were poor and that's what poor kids do. they share toys and even, gasp!, bedrooms.

elisa, tickle my back while i fall asleep, please!!!

my search results have prompted me to write more commentary on kelly clarkson and beach cruisers too. speaking of beached kelly clarksons....

i caught some of the new show Duets this evening and i'm sorry, but is kelly clarkson a little person? i think she's a great singer and all but she has a mild case of t-rex arms. which is totally ok but if i were her, i'd fire my stylist for making me wear a dress that exacerbates that fact about me. i was also watching bits of Don't be tardy for the Wedding, which I just have no words for but it seemed like Kim's hairdresser is also a little person. go figure.

speaking of little people, did you know i'm only 5'2"?

happy friday, my pretties!


  1. Hahaha. Those poor searchers were probably so disappointed when they realized that your blog isn't actually a "big Berlin boobs" porn site. I get some weird search results too, but these are hilarious.

  2. Haha, what the heckkk? I thought my 'roadkill' searches were bad. I made the mistake of posting a roadkill drawing I did on DrawSomething and now I have searches for that almost everyday. People are creeps.

  3. this is all sorts of hilarious. and creepy.

    I am *ahem* "gifted" in my top half, and I'm a shorty too (5'1") and if you even say that your shoe size is 5.5/6, I will cry in my coffee. Never in my life have I had a friend that I could share clothes and shoes.

    and as if we weren't kindred spirits already, having my back tickled might be my favorite thing on earth. After wispy playing.

  4. this is hysterical. i had the cabbage patch big wheel, and my sister inexplicably had the knight rider one. ha! i love to see how people reach my blog too. oh, and when i first met my husband he was all about using quotations on every google search. it baffled me. relentless teasing has since cured him of this :)

  5. I mean. I come here for the boobs for sure.

  6. So so funny. I too have never heard of Berlin as a place to find big boobs, but hey, I've never been there so maybe it's an underground thing. My real question though is why those search terms are bringing people to your blog?

    Oh and on the topic of big wheels, I had a smurf one. Pretty awesome.

  7. Thanks for the laugh this morning. I always find it odd what people are searching for and then find my blog... I wrote about a nude nail polish color once, and now people who search for a 'nude wife' stumble upon the pages that I write!
    Hmm... yep, no nude wife there.
    Happy Monday to you!

  8. "they carry their house around on their ass!! effing genius."


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