May 30, 2012

giving in because some days kinda suck


#1. Nothing makes me quite as happy as McDonald's french fries. 
#2. This photo is a ploy because I'm about to indulge in a big pity party.....now! 



So this is how I'm feeling today. Some days, you can't help the way you feel; others you can force it away and see the lighter side of things. But I've given into the storm and I'll wallow in it today because it's what feels best.

I want my baby here, now.
I'm ready and waiting.

I've never been one for patience and this is a hard, hard lesson in exactly that. And if I can't have what I want now, at least give me the space to just sit and stare at my moving belly. I want hours and hours of quiet to talk to him and sing to him and just be. Reality is a little too harsh for me today. The reality that instead I go to an office and do things that make no impact on my life other than to distract me from what's important. I don't like distractions.

money shmoney.

***

We're learning to change our perception of pain in HypnoBirthing class. Instead of pain, we feel sensations. We don’t use the word pain. What are these sensations?

Throbbing?
Stinging?
Pressure?

I'm feeling a lot of sensations in my pelvic bone - well, what I believe to be my pelvic bone. It's a sharp, stabbing feeling and walking is not easy. Moving is not easy either. There are better days when I think it's gone but then the next day comes and it's back again. I told my doctor and she dismissively replied, saying something about how it's just a part of pregnancy. I don't like being dismissed.

***

We're looking to move again. We really like our house and our neighborhood but we need more space. Searching for a new house can be exciting at first but after a while, becomes more exhausting than anything else.  And I mean, cragislist, is this the best we can do nowadays? If it's not a scam, it's a misleading bunch of images. We've seen three houses so far and all appeared to be built by the dude from Alice in Wonderland. Ya know, the one that built a house just to have a place to eat all the little oysters. In a word: unsafe. Or maybe: ugly. I don't like fruitless searches.

So here's to tomorrow. And to sunnier dispositions.

HypnoBirthing also says Bunny can feel my moods and emotions now. Sorry kid. 

xo

6 comments:

  1. I feel ya, sister. If you weren't with child, I'd say we must be menstruating together.
    Today is the pits.
    But that must mean tomorrow will be much better.
    And I'll also throw out there that I vowed to not eat out or fast food this week (pre-marathon), but if you wanted to go get McDonald's for lunch tomorrow, I would happily oblige. For the sake of our moods, of course.

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  2. not gonna lie... I clicked to your blog today because I saw french fries. Not complete without the chicken nuggets though hahaha

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    Replies
    1. ha! i love it. seee, my ploy worked because seriously, who doesn't love mcdonalds!?

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  3. How do you like Hypnobirthing classes?! I was just reading about a lady Carol that teaches a class in Cardiff and I read the best reviews!

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  4. How do you like Hypnobirthing classes?! I was just reading about a lady Carol that teaches a class in Cardiff and I read the best reviews!

    ReplyDelete