April 12, 2012

things I learned while reading mom blogs and getting probed at the dr.'s office

Do you guys read Cup of Jo?
I've been reading her blog off and on for a while now and she has a lot of great new-mommy tips (and much, much more not baby related at all). recently, she posted her pregnancy survival guide and it basically pushed me to finally purchase some things that had been on my amazon wish list for a while.

Leachco Snoogle Total Body Pillow

it's like a fishing hook for my body. i'm the catch of the day! 

Countless mommy friends have recommended a full body pillow during pregnancy and as someone who is starting to experience semi-sleepless nights, it's time. to all of you out there who have trouble sleeping all the time, I have a new found empathy for you. it's torture!!! I've been spoiled my entire life with easy sleeping habits. I just want to hug you all and say: I get it, I get it now.

Baby Be Mine Maternity Belly Band

i fully believe this band will have me smiling like her, in my red jeans.

I have two pairs of maternity jeans. I wear one pair basically every day because it has an extra wide belly band. I have other jeans (ahem, red jeans, I'm talking to you!) that I miss dearly. I'm hoping that his magical band will allow me to wear my favorite IRL jeans throughout this pregnancy. I'll let you know how it goes! I know you're so deeply curious.

Exploiting My Baby: A Memoir of Pregnancy & Childbirth by Teresa Strasser

I devoured this book in 2 nights. This bitch is funny. I was seriously laughing out loud at her similar-to-mine observations about all the changes that come with housing a baby in your body. I'm pretty sarcastic..sardonic even, and her cynicism was just what I needed to save me from the many sweet 'I love being pregnant' stories. Though she does say she didn't have any caffeine - UM, what!?! Sorry, Teresa, but you cray-cray.


So no, though you may have painted the image of me making amazon puchases on my iphone while the nurse administered a vaginal ultrasound - I'm not that crass or coordinated. This was all in the waiting room.

But she did probe me.

Hank and I were there for our anatomy scan! The most exciting and beloved ultrasound by all pregnant ladies! It's when you get an extra long look at your little guy/gal and if you don't already know, they can usually tell you with certainty, the sex of yo' baby. We already knew this so it was just another confirmation for us.

So she's looking around, measuring all the parts, the legs, the arms, the stomach, the skull, the kidneys…the kidneys.

"I can't get an image of where the cord meets the placenta, I'll have to do a vaginal ultrasound for that. You can pee first and then we'll get started."

I have no idea what this means so I obediently do as I'm told and almost skip to the bathroom. I was in a good mood?

She does her thing, pushes bunny's head away from my placenta (um, ouch) and snaps a shot.

"Ok, great. The doctor will be in to see in a few minutes."

The doctor comes in.

"Hey there! Woah, I almost went home and then they said you were here! Whew! Good thing I didn't leave.  Heh, heh. OK, so all looks good! Oh no, wait, no, no, one thing…ohhh, wait, two things."

I swear, I was in an SNL skit. This woman, with her Native American belt buckle, cowboy button-down and wild eyes. I mean, I wanted to like her and her style but truth be told, she was making me feel a little on edge.

She told us this:

My placenta is covering the baby exit door. Only marginally but still, it's blocking it so much that if it doesn't move (and it still could) this low-risk, 30 year old pregnant gal is having a scheduled c-section.

Well, shoot. Does this mean I don't have to sign up for that Hypno-Birthing class now?

Bunny has urine in his left kidney, 'like it matters which one it is', said the cowgirl Dr.

Apparently piss in your kidneys ain't so awesome. She said it was barely over the "safe" amount so it should disappear soon.

All I kept thinking was: you can see urine on that screen!? And shit, this is really happening. I'm not in a fairytale, I'm actually pregnant with a human who may possibly have problems in life. And I'm one half of his only hope.

Well, shoot.

So, all this to say that I will be going back at 28 weeks to get it all checked out again. Will my placenta move? Will the peepee from his peepee flow in the right direction?


Only time will tell.

at least we got a blurry profile pic?
our sonographer is not a photographer.



  1. Hang in there! I am reading pre-pregnancy books and they scare the crap out of me :p

  2. Baby Bunny!!!!! Cute cute picture...even though yes, she kind of sucks at picture taking :)

    Pee Pee...BE GONE!!

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  4. Well, shoot! Cowgirl doctor sounds like she'd rather be sluecin'. Sorry. Had to throw that in there. Congrats on the little bunny! Boys are so fun!

    1. Dana! HAAA! So glad you did. She would SO rather be sluicin!

  5. Vic, I am certain bunny boy will be absolutely perfect. When I had that appointment it made me sooo nervous. I think I held my breath through the entire thing. While modern technology is brilliant and awesome... it is also totally freaky. I am sure the pee pee will move on to right where it needs to be. Love you friend and love reading all of these pregnancy updates. Can't wait to watch your style evolve into full on maternity. I will have to book mark each one of your style geniuses for future Hein baby gestational times. Ha!

    1. Meg, thanks so much! I fully believe he'll be ok too. He is just the cutest little ultrasound dude ever! :) And thanks for the style love, I am trying to raise the bar every day!

  6. Congratulations on your baby :) Fellow SD resident!!
    And mother of four. You look marvelous!

  7. I swear to you, when Brandon and I get pregnant, I'm going to come back and re-read all of these posts. Thank you for sharing more than the sunshine and roses.