January 11, 2012

learning to love...work?

when college ended, rather abruptly - i counted up my units one day and realized: oh, i guess i'm done,  i was a little lost.

i had always known what came next in life. preschool, kindergarten, 1st grade....12th grade, college....um, job? what job? will there be a teacher there? a course outline? maybe a counselor to tell me what job is best suited for me? [thought, counselors have never been much help to me in the past, truthfully]

but none of that existed.

it was all a big tidal wave of: good luck kid adult! we've given you the tools, now thrive.

and aside from not having ANY idea what i wanted to do with my life, i really missed the daily learning. i loved sitting in classrooms and hearing what my peers and teachers had to say. i enjoyed taking notes and sitting in class past the hour. i liked having to sleep study in the library midday.

jobs have not been my favorite things in life. i've never really had one that suits me well. each was inevitably boring and pointless. i would learn my tasks and how the company culture worked just enough to know i didn't really want to be there. and then, i would count down the days until it was an "appropriate" time to quit. 9 months was usually the itching point.

it could be that i like change. i mean, i LOVE change. new things, please! all. the time.

but i think it was more than that. it was pretending to care about a lot of things i just didn't care about. and spending most of my life in a place that held NO value to me was/is torturous.

i've been slightly lucky in my current job. though it started off so rough that i wanted to kill myself and possibly those around me, it's evolved over the 2+ years that i've been here into something i can at least stomach and at times, even *gasp* enjoy.

what started as a product management job has turned into a marketing manager position. though, the manager part i could do without. i've told them many times how much i am NOT interested in managing anything but my own projects.

people, no thanks.
a marketing plan, no thanks.
strategies, NO thanks.

so what do i want to do? well, i think it comes down to design. trading ideas and design things. pretty things. happy things. colorful things. trying every day to make something that people like and are drawn to. art. ads. words. newsletters. handouts. updates.

which, really, in the end is an extension of learning. learning to be better at creating every day is what i love. and so here i am, back in a kind of classroom. taking lynda courses online and employing a lot of trial and error before the final art is approved. the improving is my favorite part. the hardest part is saying OK, it's done. it's at its best. or at least, in a good spot.

a happy spot.

in an effort to extend my learning and happiness to other areas of life, i am taking even more online classes. today is my first day of Pretty Paper Products with Nicole's Classes

wish me luck!

and come back to see all the pretty paper products i'll be trying to make making!

to learning!


  1. Yea Vicki! This has been a long time coming! So happy you found your niche!

  2. Yay for loving (or learning to love) your job! Very happy you're happy :)
    In n Out to celebrate!

  3. You make such a good point, up until college graduation there is always a carefully outlined "next step." It's scary when life gets to the point where you have to choose your own {but it's also kind of exciting}


  4. You loved on strikethrough this post.
    But I'm so excited to see all the lovely things you WILL be making soon!