May 30, 2011

happy holiday!

any monday not in an office is a good monday. 
hope yours was spent in the sun, with someone you love. 


May 25, 2011

rain, rain, come again

yesterday started out sunny and turned to rain. today the sun chose to stick around, making my hunter boots less appropriate. good thing i don't worry about being appropriate!

hank took these photos. i told him he's to be the best photography assistant ever. he's off to a good start i'd say. the angles, the lighting...i'm pretty sure he even said at the end of 5 minutes: yep, i think we got it. 


May 24, 2011

failure to plan is a plan for success!

i know i promised you some more weekend flava but i'm going to blame the delay on fashion blogs, celebrity apprentice finales and sleep. but it will come, eventually. (that's what she said) it's just in the works until tomorrow or so. but the good news is i have some serious lunch stories for you.

ya know how all i eat is this?

well, today i couldn't do it anymore. i wasn't particularly hungry and when that happens, i can't make a decision on what to eat to save my life. seriously, i might die from pondering one day.

so, i sauntered sloooowwwwly from my car to the local "food court" and then only happened to end up at starbucks because i was creepily following two guys, eavesdropping on their entire conversation. (it was about their job, a construction thing. it wasn't even interesting. that's how bored i am) by the time they were holding the starbucks door open for me, i thought it'd be awkward to turn around and pretend like i didn't notice them. so i walked in and bot (have you seen this minified version of bought, yet?! it's sooo thru and nite and thx, etc.) two things.

do you ever stand in the starbucks line, half dreading your turn? like, how the hell am i going to decide what to get?!
i really love their chai latte. 
but sometimes, i like the iced vanilla latte better. 
i did get that black tea/lemonade drink for a few weeks a few years ago, maybe i'll try that again today!
 or wait, maybe i'll just have a coffee and spend less. 

this happens to me every. freaking. time.
again, death by pondering...

so i ultimately chose to go with a venti iced coffee with room. {this means i need space to put my milk and splenda in, betches!} i also got their protein plate because i've heard it's better to eat than to drink your lunch. unproven theory, i say. 

um, first off, i should send those construction workers a thank you card because my lunch was dank. wait, can i still say dank? 

secondly, this is my first real life experience to support the logic that just because you don't like the parts, does not mean you won't necessarily like the whole. i don't enjoy honey. i try it often (i do this with curry too) and still, nothin'. but mix it with peanut buttah and i am suddenly on the honey train, like sitting in the first class car. seriously, this stuff is deelicious. so delicious, it deserves a close-up.


so, there you have it. a starbucks endorsement and proof that indecisiveness can benefit your life in many a way. try it today! ponder some shit, wait it out, maybe eavesdrop on random people and see where you end up.

come to think of it, that's kinda how i met my husband. have i told that story yet? 


May 22, 2011

i just want to ride bikes with you

i own this shirt. it was $5 at the swap meet.

friday was hank's birthday. yay! hurrah! fabulosity!
i bought him a bike.

care to SEEEE?

not to be confused with shit brick.

{i interrupt this broadcast to inform you that my dog, easton, just farted out loud. why is it so freaking funny when a dog farts with SOUND?! so far, no stench. hooray for small victories! now, back to your regularly scheduled programming}

these pictures are looking odd to me; damn you picnik! 
in real life, bike is not blurry. 

so as i was saying...i bought him this bike (with generous contributions from a few relatives). i picked it up from the store during my lunch break on friday, dressed it up in bows, dropped it off in our living room and went back to work. when the hankster got home - he gets out of the office waaay before me, wah - he was sooo surprised!! he even called and used his excited voice. 

i got home a few hours later and he was seriously sitting on the bike, like, still. then he rode it around the block a few times. and then we called his sister and used face time to show her the bike. it was bikemania. but then...

we got sad. 
we got so, so sad. 


because!!! i didn't have one to match! oh, the agony! the horror! it was something we had to rectify immediately, as we could longer endure the disproportion, the disparity, the overwhelming unfairness! 

so, then we went out and bought me one. hee. 

ugh, so blurry. 

i tell ya, if it wasn't so late right now, i'd start all over again with these here pics. psshhh. 

so that's our weekend bike story. it made us quite the happy couple. we went on rides for fun, rides for exercise, rides with easton (difficult!), rides to market - just like little piggy did - and then we smiled AAALLL the way home. 

stay tuned for other glorious things i did this weekend. i can even promise you non-blurry pictures!! gosh darn, i was productive. hank says it's because i ate cashews. what say you?


May 19, 2011

eat. repeat. laugh.

So, I just ate the exact same lunch as yesterday. I get into food routines quite often. For a long time, it's been turkey sandwiches from Subway. And now, as we found out yesterday, it's turkey SALADS from Subway.

I know, I'm dangerous.

So dangerous that I just lied to you - I didn't get the EXACT same thing. My cookie today is oatmeal raisin; yesterday it was classically delicious chocolate chip!

Adventure is my middle name!!

If my eating habits are not pathetic enough for you, maybe watch this. And then call my super rad sister-in-law and thank her for sending me random video clips.


May 18, 2011

calorie counters, start your engines!

So, I’m fat.
No,no, it’s true.
And I’m about to get real honest with you folks. Come in close.

I stand at a mere 5’2” and this morning, weighed in at 100 and 38 pounds. wutthefuh.

As such, I’m practically terrified to eat anymore. That is, until around 11am each day, when I start to get even crankier than usual and cannot be tolerated until my food wishes are fulfilled to the brim. But what to get? What to eat that will not further this apocalypse of my beauty, this war on my thighs, this inner tube around my waist??

I sat in front of the food court down the street as I pondered this. Yesterday, I decided that a turkey salad from Subway (110 calories) and a 16oz Apples ‘n Greens Smoothie from Jamba Juice (220 calories) would do the trick. Reading this now makes me think I could have ordered that Subway cookie I wanted. Damn. Wait, no! This is what gets me into trouble. It’s always the sugar - I freaking love sugar. L.O.V.E. and so does the Hank, which makes for a not very nice combination of bad decisions after 9pm when we’re bored and watching reality TV together. Yes, we lead an extraordinary life. Don’t be j.

So, today I ordered the same salad because it’s freaking delicious. And added my favorite chips AND yes, yes, I got the damn cookie. Still under 500 calories for everything. I’m SO ok with that. 

Stay tuned for how my ass feels about it.


~two posts in one day! psh, who do I think I am??

east side stories

When my work was done last week, I spent a little time in NYC and then a little in New England before coming home. While I can't possibly share all the awesomely fun and lovely things that transpired, I can offer a few tidbits.

Here they is.

On Thursday night, my cousin took me to steps on broadway to take an intermediate theatre dance class. It was an hour and a half of serious shit and I was, by far, the worst dancer in that place. It was intense and surreal and super freaking awesome. I loved it. My body did too - it kept reminding me about all the fun we had for 7 days...sore abs, sore ass, sore everything.

ok, so the last picture is from center stage - so what if I've always wanted to be jodie sawyer

On Friday morning, I grabbed a cab to Grand Central - I was taking the train to Fairfield to see my Hank family. I had the most enlightening conversation with the cabby. What can I say, he started it. 

>So you going on vacation? 
- No, I'm here for work.
> Oh you work as model in the city?
-I'm sorry, what did you say?
>Model. Do you work as a model?
- Um, no. 
> Why not? You should try. 
- Um, no.
> You have Indian eyes, I think you could.
- I'm too short and fat to model.
> Oh, well then yeah, maybe not for you, eh? Hehe.

> You think too much. 
- Oh, thanks.
> You do. I can tell. I see many ladies in my cab. 
- How long have you been doing this?
> I am here 21 years. I am from India but now I love it here. So many pretty ladies in my cab. 
- Oh yeah?
> Yes, yes. One time two women make love in my cab and they say I can pull over and watch if I want. 
- Um, wow. So did you?
> No, no. I just want to drive my cab. I tell them it's ok though, you can do whatever you want in my cab. 

> Are you Spanish?
- I'm Mexican. 
> Do you speak Spanish?
- Yeah, kinda.
> I do too. I dated a Dominicana once and me enseno. 
- That's nice. 
> Yes, oh I love the Spanish women. Only the Spanish women. 
- You don't date Indian women ever?
> I did once but you see, they are different in uh, making love. Different from Spanish women. 
- Oh yeah? How so?
> Spanish women, they help you. Even if you are tired, they say it's ok and do all the work. And Indian woman, they just get in bed and lie there. 
- They don't help?
> No, no. Just lie there. 
(he quickly does a pretty decent imitation of a stiff corpse)
- Oh, you mean like a dead fish?
> Hahaha! Yes!  A dead fish. That is funny. 

On the train, I found a Hank look-a-like. They have the same hair, smooth and fine. They'll also have the same wardrobe soon because I promise you, this guy's outfit was mmmhmm good. 

Once in CT, I was able to slow it all down a bit and enjoy nature and scenery and quiet things. One such thing was the nap I took in front of the town library. I snapped a few shots of the scenery first...

this was taken with my iphone, no edits 
it was a dandelion bonanza out there

After I woke up, I was surprisingly patient and was endlessly entertained by a tiny little worm inching it's way across my towel. I could have kept shooting forever but a spider crawled off my face onto the towel and I figured it was time to get up. One thing about the east...bugs. 

If you can make it through this video, we should probably be friends. 


May 11, 2011

life opens up when you do

I heard this today, on a commercial about teeth whitening.

I like it because I think it's true. I also like it because it's not something I do naturally, making it all the more mysterious and therefore, potentially fulfilling to no end.

And of course, because white teeth fill the soul - we know this.


May 10, 2011

a little jersey with a side of jerry

It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood, a beautiful day in New Jerseyhood, Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

Yes, folks. I am in New Jersey again. All in the name of work. And it is a lovely, sunny and breezy day - had it not been for my Dunkin Donuts encounter this morning, I'd say all is dandy.

Two things NOT to get at Dunkin Donuts: Iced Latte Lite and the Egg White Flatbread with Turkey Sausage. Both taste artificial. Ya know, fake. Just not real. Am I making my point?

They actually make me want to go on the master cleanse again. Sometimes, food just gets in the way. Ah, to only have water, lemons, syrup and cayenne pepper. Mmm. I know, I'm making your mouths water. I'll stop.

Artificial foods of Dunkin Donuts aside, I love many a thing about this coast. One is particular being the radio station selection. I get my fill of classic rock stations. It's the soundtrack of my life out here. Last week, to try and cultivate that life out west and to further nurture the Hank's love of all things deadhead, we went to see this...

It was on cinco de mayo and to celebrate both my mexiCAN heritage and our hippie endeavors, I totally dressed the part.

So, after a few margaritas at um, Islands (NOT a Mexican joint but a decent second option when all the other places have an hour wait) and some fish tacos, we sat down and watched a little of this guy.

We were the only people below the age of 50 in that theatre. Men with beards and Grateful Dead shirts, women with long, graying hair and long, flowing dresses to match. It was quite the scene. BUT after we sang a few songs and watched a few interviews, we left. Truthfully, it was really a movie of it's time. Too much animation, too little acid, and a redundancy of clips from if not the same show, very, very similar shows causes some serious boredom. So yeah, we still felt accomplished and high-fived each other for trying something new.

And like I said, any time for classic rock is a good time. East or west. It's all good - in any hood.


May 5, 2011

oh. my. gosh.

do you have any idea where i've been for the last few days?!?

yeah, me neither.
but i am determined to find out and clue you in. very soon.

in the meantime, i leave you with this, my pretties. (sorry, wicked witch lingerings...)


and don't even think about turning this off before the song is over.
it's bluegrass and it's bomb.

can you dig it?


May 2, 2011

Osama Bin in Kansas this whole time?

Last night, CNN reported that Osama Bin Laden was killed. 
Later, a reporter sent me a link to a Fox news channel claiming "Obama Bin Laden Dead"  Hmmm. 

So, for about 5 minutes, I watched my fellow Americans cheer and jeer and wave flags with painted faces. As though it was a college football game, they chanted "U.S.A.!" and raised their #1 finger in the air. 

...did we win something? Is life a game? Why am I still watching this?

I changed the channel to watch Celebrity Apprentice. Because even the Trump trumps that shit. 

In talking about it today, I realized how it all reminded me of a "ding, dong, the witch is dead" sequence. So I looked this up. 

I always really liked her socks. 

This movie scared me as a kid. It was dark and eerie. A movie where even when the characters are happy, you know something bad is about to happen. You know that they should just stop celebrating because it's not helping; they've lost focus. 

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.