not exactly, but close. a part of me died...i think it was my good side too - which means i’m doomed to ugliness now. so typical.
..before i continue, i’d like to interject and say that i’m finding this blog to be a very fitting place to explore just how much im willing to publicly embarrass myself. if i am completely honest about the happenings in life and my feelings about them, i will undoubtedly embarrass meself here and there. and lately, im starting to think this is a great thing. i can feel the weight lifting already, so enjoy! anywho, back to being a crybaby..
so i was taken into the conference room last week and confronted about some claims on my resume. claims that may or may not have been exaggerated slightly, claims that i may have felt rang true but only in the sense that i never expected to actually use them on a daily basis or to bust out some seriously impressive results in under an hour. i mean, c’mon, give me some time to figure it out/look it up on the internet and fake it and we’re all good. but ask me to lay a golden egg right there in front of you and you’re just asking to be disappointed.
so, yeah. i admitted that i knew “expertise” was not a synonym for “familiar with” and then i lost it and cried. like a fucking kid in a candy store, who’d just been stopped at the door with pockets full of stolen paydays and fun dip. seriously, i had no idea i was so fragile. and then i thought, wait, am i a liar!? shit, i’ve built my entire existence on the fact that i’m not a liar. needless to say, it was quite traumatic for me and im still not sure i've recovered.
maybe i have ergophobia.
seriously. look it up.
(upon re-reading this post, i realized the title is a little misleading as the aftermath is not truly explored here, but the challenge of changing it bores me and i kinda like the word aftermath. so, it stays)