i am so freaking tired. i’ve been crying a little today because i’m having another nervous breakdown and because again, someone i know and love is in the hospital and i’m just getting too old to deal with this shit.
first, nervous breakdown.
this is the start of my second one since november and while i think i can still swerve around it, the fact that i feel it coming is scary enough. i’ve never had these before. (lie. i did have a few back when i lived in LA and found out that i had been dating a dirty, dirty whore slut for way too many years. psh.) anywaaaay - even then, i knew it wasn’t permanent. this time it’s way more disturbing because its rocking the core of my being.
item 1. never, ever have i had attention span issues. i have amazing stamina in the attention bedroom and lately, at work, i CANNOT focus on anything, ever. i’m like easton around birds, cats and treats. ahhhh! which one do i focus on!?!?
item 2: shit, i can't remember item 2. are you seeing this??? gah!
i hate them. i hate sickness and the potential scariness there. i hate it all. i can’t take any more of it for the next 10 years. please take note universe. hospitals are only to be used to having pretty, fat, healthy babies. thank you.
i just opened this blogroll doc (my backup, if you will) and found the following entry from sometime this or last week. you know, the time which i’ve spent NOT blogging. apparently, i felt it wasn’t a worthy topic to delve into. and yet, still too long for tweetin’.
-which, btw, i read an article about in my vanity fair today. it was about twilebrities. i didnt know any of them - except for that travel girl. who, i’m sorry but is NOT a girl anymore. she’s easily 50 years old; fess up honey!
ok, my old, misplaced post:
am i the only person who covers their eyes while their bank account loads onto the computer screen? it’s truly the scariest moment for me...even when i know i have funds. wtf?