January 31, 2010


dear grammy and co.: i don’t like how i must own 3-d glasses to watch a this michael jackson tribute performance. i can just imagine how cool that hummingbird would look in my living room with me. or shamu! c’mon!

carrie underwood can get down. this may be a turning moment in our relationship. carrie, let’s be friends.

note: 3-d television without the appropriate eyewear looks like old film from the 70's. i could actually get used to this.

i just bought my keel’s simple diary. (in blue!) now, not only do i have to find the time to blog, i get to keep a diary! ridiculous you say?

au contraire...

the simple diary is just that. asking you to label your day with one of the 3 options listed, some nonsensical sayings or questions, a tidbit of philosophy and inspiration that will undoubtedly make you view each day from a new angle. it offers limits for how you’ll describe the daily experience and let me tell you, with all the shizz going on in my life, i welcome limits of this sort.

oh simple diary, lead me in your direction, be my keel’s heel!

in other redonkulous news: it's freakin' february tomorrow. sheewww.

the daily mention - the soft pack

i spent a little of my sunday morning scrolling through posts of a recent blog of note: madam lamb and came across this one about the soft pack.

they’re a san diego band and i think this song is super fun. so just in case you local readers didn’t find it on your own - check them out, it’s a nice little ditty.

thanks be to the madam and blog surfin'.

January 27, 2010

the daily mention: the show

do you live in san diego? do you drive a car? a car that has a radio? a radio that tunes to fm105.3?

you dooo!?

well, then you know that today’s daily mention is something to be celebrated. it is the morning talk show that has very recently been announced as: the show.

the show was formerly known to the san diego public as the mikey show. mikey has since left, reportedly due to contract conflicts?? - and might i say, HALLELUJAH!

the mikey show was very popular among morning radio listeners and so i was familiar with it. i even used to listen to it every morning back in old 2006. i finally gave it up when i realized i was coming into work angry and frustrated by the pighead that was mikey, the show’s bossy, long-winded, preachy to all hell host and leader.

i LOVE me some talk radio but if i wanted to listen to angry conservatives, i would tune into rush limpweiner or for the opinion of the religious congregation, the 700 club o' sheep. but please, when driving to work every morning, i prefer hugs of humor and buckets of laughter, not close-minded lessons from the jeebus crew.

and now, sans mikey, the show is a fabulous place to get some great entertainment. fun that appeals to everyone, that is not geared toward any one group. oh, how very inclusive of them!

 i’m so very excited to proclaim the show as vickichristine’s second favorite talk radio gig! hooray!
(sorry but no one beats kpbs/npr [see: my license plate holder] - it’s where i get the juice, yo!)

thanks guys for keeping on and making san diego proud. (oh yeah, and if you ever need a stand-in, i’m totally available. call me!)

no, seriously, call me.

January 26, 2010

and you thought i was crazy. ha!

i am so freaking tired. i’ve been crying a little today because i’m having another nervous breakdown and because again, someone i know and love is in the hospital and i’m just getting too old to deal with this shit.

first, nervous breakdown.
this is the start of my second one since november and while i think i can still swerve around it, the fact that i feel it coming is scary enough. i’ve never had these before. (lie. i did have a few back when i lived in LA and found out that i had been dating a dirty, dirty whore slut for way too many years. psh.) anywaaaay - even then, i knew it wasn’t permanent. this time it’s way more disturbing because its rocking the core of my being.
item 1. never, ever have i had attention span issues. i have amazing stamina in the attention bedroom and lately, at work, i CANNOT focus on anything, ever. i’m like easton around birds, cats and treats. ahhhh! which one do i focus on!?!?
item 2: shit, i can't remember item 2. are you seeing this??? gah!

second:  hospitals.
i hate them. i hate sickness and the potential scariness there. i hate it all. i can’t take any more of it for the next 10 years. please take note universe. hospitals are only to be used to having pretty, fat, healthy babies. thank you.

i just opened this blogroll doc (my backup, if you will) and found the following entry from sometime this or last week. you know, the time which i’ve spent NOT blogging. apparently, i felt it wasn’t a worthy topic to delve into. and yet, still too long for tweetin’.

-which, btw, i read an article about in my vanity fair today. it was about twilebrities. i didnt know any of them - except for that travel girl. who, i’m sorry but is NOT a girl anymore. she’s easily 50 years old; fess up honey!

ok, my old, misplaced post:

am i the only person who covers their eyes while their bank account loads onto the computer screen? it’s truly the scariest moment for me...even when i know i have funds.  wtf?


January 22, 2010

tdm: zee avi

i have no idea where i first heard this song but i've had it on my iPod since last may or so and it's one of those songs that i will never change as it comes up on shuffle. it makes me smile and that's kinda what music is meant to do. so, enjoy.

then go to iTunes and buy it because she's so cute and lovely!


advisory remarks

I just wrote, for the very first time, on any email or other correspondence: please advise.

For the record, I hate this phrase. I can't really say why except to site that an old client of mine, ahem, dumbass L from dumbass E, (oo, i'm bad, so bad) used it constantly. She used it for everything…"will you be on the call today? please advise." "did you get my voicemail from 30 seconds ago? please advise." "am I a dumbass? please advise."

Almost a year has passed since I've had to suffer through her inane inquiries and it seems the frustration has flittered away, back to the dark hole whence it came. So maybe I'll start using it more often, you never know when it comes to work.

Have a happy weekend reader roos!

January 21, 2010

The Random Hank - S.hit O.ut of L.uck

Driving home from work the other day and saw a van with SOL Transportation on the back. Considering my curiosity to observe everything on the face of this earth I noticed the side of the van stated "Ambulatory and Wheelchair Transportation."

my brain thinks...harsh.

You be the judge- can't walk? yes...you are shit out of luck, but...luckily we can transport you.

January 20, 2010

tdm: music

i used to peruse myspace for new and obscure music [see: the weepies] i miss those days. i should start up again and if i do, i can promise/threaten that daily mentions will subsist almost entirely on musical props. because once i get going, i can get slightly obsessed.

tonight, though - a few oldie but goodies from the vault.

i am recommending grizzly bear's two weeks. why? because this song is fucking amazing AND the video puts you in a trance. go ahead, i dare you to look away.

hank offers up portugal the man's 1989 though he cautions that the rest of their music "sucks ass"

dude, that video snapshot freaks me out big time. gaaahhkjsnbgoubkjjlklmklm!!!!

try to ignore the scary masked menkies.

the daily mention: swaying sanders

mayor sanders of san diego testified today in san francisco to challenge the constitutionality of prop 8. this is good news.

mayor sanders is a republican and has historically been in staunch support of proposition 8 and all of its (puke! spit! ahem..) glory, until……………………………shocker!!!!!!!!!

his daughter reveals to him that she is a lesbian.

so mini props to the mayor for supporting his daughter. way to not follow in the ugly footsteps of his conservative counterpart, cheney poopy head. way to publicly stand up for your daughter’s rights. way to take a chance and try your hand at a change of heart.

but all props aside, why couldn’t he have seen the injustice in this awful, horrible, embarrassing, ridiculous, exclusionary proposition before? i would like to assume he is an intelligent, educated civil servant, and yet, it took a family member to sway him, to open his eyes, to convince him to take action.

i hope that this is a lesson to those who forget that everyone deserves the same basic rights. marriage is about love. let’s just leave it at that.

thanks mayor sanders. it took you long enough, but justice, like most things, is better late than never.

...though sooner is better than later in this case. REPEAL PROP 8 in 2010! (i’ve been seeing these posters all over hillcrest, now where can i get me one?!?)


January 19, 2010


the scene:
1:34am - easton's shit alllll over the carpet, next to the pool of piss, right where it belongs.
6:03am - easton in his shit stance, mid-drop. he looks up at me like, what you lookin' at?!

me: FML.

the scene:
vc: [while watching the bachelor] - I like Ali. I think she's really cute; she should win.

hank: yeah, that's ellen's favorite too. 
vc: did you just say ellen's favorite?
hank: damnit, you're going to blog about that, aren't you.

vc: um, yeah.

The Random Hank

My name is Brian aka "the Hank." Not only is this my first random snake effort of the vickichristine blog, but it is my first blog ever!

For those of you who are not aware, my sense of humor is fairly dry and my joke telling is, well, sub-par of sub-par.

although.... many can attest to the few random gems that flow right out of the blue and into the hearts and souls of those who least expect it. This is what I aim to do with the Random Hank.


I suggest/predict that this one go global, maybe even make it onto late-night TV. It's called...

La Playa on La Playa

I was searching for a new place to live for the 3 of us in San Diego. The usual routine is to look on Craigslist, find the address, and go to Google Maps to see if the place is in a desirable neighborhood. you all know the drill.

In the midst of my search I came across a posting in San Diego on Promontory@La Playa ave, hit up Google Maps and here's what I found....(you can find it too)

I suggest that if you see a car like this....

you stop any transaction dead in its tracks and 'be cool'. you may be caught on candid camera like this playa.


*By the way, any post that humiliates me or talks about my knowledge of current events and pop culture on this blog is completely untrue. I don't know anything about the Bachelor as future posts may suggest*

January 17, 2010

sunday night in my room

im sitting down, getting comfortable, ready to start watching 500 days of summer with the hank. and seeing how our main character, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, was nominated for a golden globe for this very movie (though he didn't win - which you would know if you watched the globes earlier today, did you watch too??) makes me even more eager to see what all the fuss is about.

it starts with one of my favorite regina spektor songs [us] =  yipeeeee!

to my right lies a topless hank. he sips a coke zero and holds it with 2 hands.
i. love. him.
interject! up the minute, direct hank quote: how does this not have any calories?

im compelled to repeat myself: i. love. him.
and apparently, he loves coke zero.

to my left sits a scrum-didily-umptous bowl of strawberry ice cream. it is covered in hershey’s chocolate syrup that reportedly expired in october of 2009. i pondered the potential hazards of this for 5.2 seconds in front of the refrigerator, only to decide that it would be worth any resulting stomach pains. turns out, i was right. did i already say scrum-didily-umptous??

zooey deschanel just said anal girl.

we spent the weekend in LA with my pater, where i got a pedicure with the only essie nail polish in the salon, went vintage shop walkin’ and stood by while my dawg shit, puked and pissed himself crazy all over their house. [i’m sorry pater and step-mater - i hope that resolve really works]!!!

please enjoy these pieces of proof. guten night.

all of these images were taken in another fabulous fullerton shop - the brick basement [as the image above implies]

p.s. day 118 of 500 made the movie. oh, and Carla Bruni. check out Quelqu’un M’a Dit

the daily mention - weekend edition

american vintage, fullerton, california

if you like vintage clothing, shoes and accessories, visit this store. it is completely worth it. i found one fabulous spaghetti strap floral dress straight out of 1983 and a purple, flowy, a-line 1976 lovely. AND a boat neck sweater with cursive up and down each sleeve that talks of true love.

i couldn’t find the website [even though it’s listed on the business card i swiped] BUT i did find this fun little LA weekly gem from 2008.

go, get your vintage on.


January 14, 2010

the daily mention: islands and how to see them for less.

i took this picture in 2007 from the top of diamond head in O’ahu and at that time, i wasn’t particularly interested in photography. it’s become a bit of an obsession as of late and i was surprised to happen upon this shot and feel pretty satisfied that maybe the knack was there all along.

orrrr maybe this picture is as common as easton licking his balls.

if you like islands or travel in general, you should click here.


bettin' on scale tippers

the biggest question on everyone’s mind, obviously, is:

who will win biggest loser this season?!?!

as popular as this show is, i, shockingly, only know 2 people who watch it regularly, and live...because hulu a week later doesn’t count miss mimi.

So i queried these 2 people for their early in the season bets on who will lose more excess fat but...not necessarily excess skin.

vc: who of these larger folk will take the cake this season? (MmMMm, cake)
hank: i say that guy.
vc: that guy, who?
hank: the guy with the white hair and beard. in the black shirt.
vc: noted. on what have you based this proclamation?
hank: nothin’ - my gut feeling i guess.
vc: your gut? not his?
hank: yeah, mine.

vc: and you, who do you think will win this season?
vc: oh, um, i didnt know you would ask me this. i’m not quite prepared...
vc: oh c’mon! you know you’ve been all up in these last two eps.
vc: ok, i’ll go with that orange shirt guy, Darris. I like his curls.

hank: that’s a dumb reason.

yeah, because he's got the monopoly on good reasoning.

c’mon darris, let’s prove the hank wrongity, wrong, wrong, wrong.

January 13, 2010

the daily mention

santo - turned santi - gold.

santigold was brought to my attention last year - about a year after her album released. i am way behind the times. But if you haven't heard of her yet then I am way ahead of the trend!

If you're out of the loop, come on in, it sounds gooooood.

Santigold, check her out.

look! midas barf.

January 12, 2010

miss vulnerable kicked my ass

the hank and I have been fighting a lot lately. and neither of us really understands why. we both love each other, we both would rather spend time with the other over anyone else, we both want the same things in life, we both...

when we fight, I, being of the dramatic sort, immediately say ridiculous things like, “FINE! let’s just break up then!” or “ugh, why don’t you move out and get a brand new life, without me!!” of course, what I really mean is please just come over here and hug me and tell me it will all be OK because I barely remember what we were fighting about and I just want us to be happy and carefree again.

he, however, is unfamiliar with this female dialect. no matter how many times I explain what he should do in these situations, how easy it is to snap me out of it, he still cannot act accordingly. he, instead, clams up and says nothing. absolutely nothing.

I ask you, is there ANYTHING more infuriating than complete, unexplained, irrefutable silence!?!!

It came to a head last night when he told me that he was “trying to figure things out” and that only one of us wants to get married. more than anything else in me, my stomach reacted. In addition to nausea, I felt compelled to say something to him. I wanted to show him that this was all wrong and that we were meant to be together and then i realized...

i couldn’t.

I could not get the words out of my mouth. I started crying, almost hysterically, because I had no clue what was happening. The words came to my mind, to my heart, to my entire being and I could not say them out loud, when it was so important that I be able to do exactly that.

Now, please know that I am NOT one to lose my words. Speaking, talking, expressing my feelings is usually as easy as breathing for me. I have never felt my throat choke back words. I have never started sweating and crying because of something I wanted to say but couldn’t. This experience was so new to me, it caused a major meltdown.

Luckily, the Hank loves a good meltdown and it turned out to be the best thing I could have done at that point. By the time I got the words “I don’t want to lose you” out of my mouth, he was already so open and ready to love me again that it wouldn’t have mattered if I hadn’t said anything. Thank the Hank.

I am happy this all happened because I think it brought us back to reality. And we’d been elsewhere for a while. But even more than that (as I’m sure we would have found our way back at some point) it opened my mind to some issues I may need to address.

Like I said, I can talk ‘til the fucking cows come home. I’ll make a lot of sense, I’ll seem completely open and uber “sharing is caring” but it seems I might be full of shit - because I am not comfortable being vulnerable. at all. Something so true for me would NOT pass my lips because I was afraid to admit that I needed him. I have never needed anyone (except maybe my mom) and I always thought that was a good thing, that I was so strong, so self-sufficient. Turns out, I’m a big fat coward and thanks to the hank and his patience, I made a tiny little step in the right direction. Maybe for the very first time...

January 10, 2010

the daily mention

it is way too late for me right now.
i spent all day at the happiest place on earth.
my feet hurt.
i just watched the blind side and cried my poor little eyes out.
i felt that i would never help another human being the way they helped michael oher.
my eyes are puffy and it's hard to keep them open.
but i crawled out of my warm bed to post this because i love today's date.
i wanted so badly to see those numbers in large font on my blog.
so, there you have it. the things that compel me.

goodnight. enjoy the beauty of simple, lovely, redundantly even numbers.

January 7, 2010

the daily mention

groupon! get your groupon!

click on that sweet announcement to make everyday a good one, full of cheap things and new adventures, right in your area.

case in point:  I almost purchased 2 circus acrobat lessons for only $49 yesterday. Unfortunately, I went home, ate too much food, watched intervention and then passed the eff out. At 3am, I sat straight up in bed and gasped - i missed my chance to fly the trapeeeeze!

...hank is still trying to convince me to see a therapist.

this could have been me. wah.

January 6, 2010

the daily mention - numero uno!

I like a lot of jazz. Everyday it seems I come across something that I want to scream about from the top of the hills - to spread to all the word of how lovely said thing is. 

And so, ahem, I'm going to embark on my first daily blog endeavor (aside from the one where I sit in front of my computer trying to make some part of my day interesting enough to write about...er.). I am deeming this lofty goal:  the daily mention. 

Hopefully these little loves of mine will be received with smiling delight and amusement! And if not, at least this can be my hill - from where I scream. CHECK OUT THIS SHIT! YOU MIGHT LOVE IT!!! AHHHH!

loves of the day

euphoria by calvin klein  - spread your scent!

p.d.a. (we just dont care) by john legend - go have sex in public!

clearly, fonts are another love of mine today. look! american typewriter!


January 4, 2010

pretty wishes and simple dreams.

if i had a landline, i'd use this.

if i wanted to dream, i'd sleep here.

if i were the subject of a photo shoot, i'd sit on this.

and of course, all of this would take place here.

all but the farm, can be found here.

crying at work, the aftermath.

work posts are all the rage right now at vickichristine so in keeping with the trend, i’d like to say that i cried at work. i cried at work last week. and then i died.

not exactly, but close. a part of me died...i think it was my good side too - which means i’m doomed to ugliness now. so typical.

..before i continue, i’d like to interject and say that i’m finding this blog to be a very fitting place to explore just how much im willing to publicly embarrass myself. if i am completely honest about the happenings in life and my feelings about them, i will undoubtedly embarrass meself here and there. and lately, im starting to think this is a great thing. i can feel the weight lifting already, so enjoy! anywho, back to being a crybaby..

so i was taken into the conference room last week and confronted about some claims on my resume. claims that may or may not have been exaggerated slightly, claims that i may have felt rang true but only in the sense that i never expected to actually use them on a daily basis or to bust out some seriously impressive results in under an hour. i mean, c’mon, give me some time to figure it out/look it up on the internet and fake it and we’re all good. but ask me to lay a golden egg right there in front of you and you’re just asking to be disappointed.

so, yeah. i admitted that i knew “expertise” was not a synonym for “familiar with” and then i lost it and cried. like a fucking kid in a candy store, who’d just been stopped at the door with pockets full of stolen paydays and fun dip. seriously, i had no idea i was so fragile. and then i thought, wait, am i a liar!? shit, i’ve built my entire existence on the fact that i’m not a liar. needless to say, it was quite traumatic for me and im still not sure i've recovered.

maybe i have ergophobia.
seriously. look it up.

(upon re-reading this post, i realized the title is a little misleading as the aftermath is not truly explored here, but the challenge of changing it bores me and i kinda like the word aftermath. so, it stays)

January 3, 2010

oh yeah, it's january

january 3rd and i have yet to post anything new years-esque. if any of my resolutions have to do with not being tardy to EVERYTHING, then i’m off to a great start. the thing is, though...

i’m kind of completely over celebrating the new year. i even have over half of a 2009 recap post written and red-ta-go but i can’t find the will to finish it properly because well, im kind of completely over celebrating...wait, dejavu.

it’s 2010 people, make it a good one.